sun day
my eyes open to see stuff i thought would always be, fidgeting to go away. the mind kick-starts on emergency mode: tries to figure out this anomaly: look for other people, see outside… i look out of the bars, the rest of the world’s the same: nobody cared before, nobody cares now…
i fall back, into my armchair, the vines leaves the upholstery. creepers squish the contours of my body and weave into my skin. but poison ivy can’t enter my head: her pain can’t reach me.
i déjà vu on novocaine: “prior to the discovery of novocaine, cocaine was the most commonly used local anesthetic. novocaine (like cocaine) has the advantage of constricting blood vessels; without the euphoric and addictive qualities of cocaine.”
disengage! disengage socially! the slow, slurred voice screams, the world outside goes dark and light… the phone glows… i listen: worlds far away, people i will never see: i speak: on the right cues, in the right tone, staying at the right distance…
the interval ends and i fall back.
i know and yet i don’t feel the fear as i sink down the abyss. thick darkness takes hope and squelches her eyes with his fat, hairy thumbs… tracy chapman kicks in with ‘the thrill is gone’…
the minds eye takes over. it goes back to what i have already seen, cause there is nothing ahead: fleeting pieces of heaven, fallen dreams, empty stars and absent faces…
posted by goldfluke @ 1:18 PM
13 Comments:
mere to sar key upar sey hi chala gaya yeh article...watcha sayin' dude!!!!
"bad idea to have woken up"
ditto for me...the blue funk is spreading...
damn nice. probably one of ur best :)
but i didnt 'get' this bit:
"disengage! disengage socially! the slow, slurred voice screams, the world outside goes dark and light… the phone glows… i listen: worlds far away, people i will never see: i speak: on the right cues, in the right tone, staying at the right distance …"
and of course you didn't need pills or pwder for a high like that- go to sleep again and smell the coffee.
"but poison ivy can’t enter my head: her pain can’t reach me." : hope it remains that way.
p.s.: you are on your way to become the master of dark writing :)... maybe you could try dark humour sometime...
it clearly was your dark sunday morning.
okay some darkness is good. but i'm seeing a blackout here. it's been ages since i saw you. you okay? if not, call. if yes, then please try your hand at writing something else.
wats with the mood boy? its gettin dark, darker, darkest out there... u sounding like the Gloom Boy now... trippin and how!! look out of the window... its begining to rain.. smell the scent of the wet earth... and clear ur mind....
This seems so familiar...sort of like déjà vu or something similar, at any rate... :) The trick is, and this has worked for me, to not 'disengage' but to find new things to get addicted to! :) New things, mind you, not new people... :)
Hope you are out of the blues soon...
wow.. look how many people love u.. so much concern in every alternate message!
life's definitely as not as dark as is written there.. or maybe the writing is a dimension of your writing skills.. (hope it’s the latter)
pyare cutting bhai,
pehle yeh batao ke yeh cutting itna sobbing kyon hai?
matlab sukh dukh sab ki zindagi mein aate hai... thoda fight karo yaar.
aur doosri baat yeh batao, ke aap karan johar kyon bante jaa rahe ho?
why does everyone have to leave your site with a lump in the throat or a tear in the eye?
you are such an awesome writer, you have such an amazing command over words, do you realise the amount of good you will do to the world if you try making people laugh?
dekho cutting bhai ( 'c' company sounds better ? :-P), bahut der se maine aapko aisa dekh liya... ab aur nahin...
batao tension kya hai? maajra kya hai?
ladki sata rahi hai, to utha ke le aate hain... banda sata raha hai, to gira ke phenk aate hai... aap ishara karo bas...
cutting ke naam pe sab ko cut kar denge ;-)
proof de do ke aapko hasna :-) aata hai....
yaaye yaaye Harjee!!! I am with u on this one...
how come u never write about happiness? u will never find it till u feel it without reason.
kiki
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