meandering in a jet plane
life is too cluttered. i hate remembering you. i miss focus. simplicity scares me. forgetting is a curse. i wish our eyes could meet. i wish i were somewhere else. i feel fat in the mind and in the body. i hate dependence and yet seek it. i don’t have anything to wake up to. replying is a pain. helping you doesn’t help me. i say yes and mean no. i talk too much. i see you in other people. i just want a conversation. i want to stop thinking. i hurt myself to feel pain. the price of companionship is too high. do you still think of me? i want isolation. i can’t shake off my own sadness. real looks ugly. i refuse to accept my hunger. i want to drop my defenses. i want you to see me with my eyes. i want to laugh. the best choice to go with is the luck of the draw. i think i never wanted you. i feel envious of people with superior intellect. my eyes give me away. i fear that there is no piece of sky left for me. is trying over- hyped?
posted by goldfluke @ 5:27 PM
12 Comments:
"i want you to see me with my eyes"....
u mean u ask to be empathised with? when was the last time you empathised? no one does. drop your own guards. so other people learn how to from u and drop theirs too.
there is always sky for everyone. sky with dark clouds. dark clouds, some with high possibilities of a rainbow, subsequent to a heavy thunder shower or even a slight speck of rain. there is a bright sunny sky at times too. there are ones with a full moon on a dark night, there are the azure blues, the violent reds, aah.
but sky for everyone. whenever, wherever.
why shake off sadness. let it remain. dont shake it too much. why wait for someone to look into your eyes? you look, and its right there.
no price to companionship. none. and, no stopping to the trying. never.
feels nice to drop by your blog.
Hey cutting,
Anguish and self pity are addictive. Stay away from them.
Think self affirmation
Think of achievements
Count your blessings
Hum a happy song
Call an old friend
Wear your most tattered jeans, and your best smile, and go for a walk to Carter Road
Do your best to be happy. You owe it to yourself.
:-)
PS - Very nice blog
beautiful writing. really stunningly beautiful. i liked. the words have a raw and honest feel ...
its hard to find someone who will see you with ur own eyes, though i guess its what we all long for, unless u look in the mirror
ur not fat ...
Dear Depressed
I guess you need some sunny people like me about you...make that trip...
:)
Your moods are becoming a constant. Forever depressed and down seems to be your motto. Me thinks u need serious, serious help. u know what i mean. I think ur need for someone, someone who will forver measure up to ur expectations, will ultimately destroy u. Peace to u man.
Who? the one U hate remembering. the one u wish would lock eyes with u. who you see in other people. who u want a conversation with. etc etc
Who? Ex-girlfriend? Object of desire? Familiar stranger? Neighbour's wife? Too young/ too old/ too out of reach?
What stops you?
no... trying is over-hyped... how can grow if you don't try... how can you evolve... how can you know for sure... do you wnat to spend the rest of your life wondering whether "it" could have happened only if you had tried...
just don't try too hard... there is a piece of sky left for you...
kiki :: about no one empathizing, don’t agree: we are all our own journeys. about dropping the guard: trying hard but no go: looks like there is some distance to go.
anon :: there had better be a sky, the hope of it is what keeps us going: the hope of salvation. thank you for visiting.
moody :: philosophy trip and all: i know, u know, we know. Aagey bolo woman. and thank u.
prerona :: your compliments are always manna. thank you you you.
anon :: when I did not need that trip to be with you, you were not as sunny as you claim to be. but thanks for the invite anyway. and the name’s cutting.
anon :: i did all that. serious professional who helps people with the mind. they said i was cured. You disagree. maybe you guys should get together.
anon :: i stop myself n i like you. :)
anon :: it takes one loser to know another. cheer up fucker
how long would it take to find image 3. Will there ever be an end\\\. The first one is always the perfect. Obviously depends on how u define the first one.
thats the contradiction buddy. The pleasure of a new hunt or the satisfaction of the 'sameness'. Where will u find ur balance.
Is the feel of a heavy heart comforting to you? The words are beautiful, the pathos painted brilliantly. The raw naked pain comes through.......... But why ARE you gutting yourself!!?? malini...
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