I looked on as I dropped her lifeless body into the water, the buoyancy stopped it from going under for a bit, and then the water soaked in, inch by inch into the placid empty vessel: a useless medium, an empty rest.
While my eyes captured the present sinking, my mind wandered around the past: of the times spent together, the many lives we had crunched into one, the pain we had inflicted on each other, the lies and the truths about each other we had accepted.
Ours wasn’t an ideal and romanticized relationship; it was quite full of conditionality, negotiation and barter, as love and life had to be.
And before the body (and it was A BODY, it was NOT her) submerged into the water, my mind had already started thinking of coping mechanisms for myself. She was gone; now I had to figure out my life, what I wanted to do with her parting gift: my freedom.
Yes, a part of it I wanted to abuse by living in the past and wallowing in ‘what if’ scenarios. The rest? I guess would be the opportunities that un-encumbrance brings with it. I had places to go, experiences to enjoy, lessons to learn, my life to live.
She was done with me and vice versa, all we had left was a new beginning.
Thank you mother.
posted by goldfluke @ 10:06 PM
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